What is Marriage

Despite all the talk about proposition 8 in California, it's my daughter who actually made me think about this.

I have always held to the belief that marriage is a union between a man and woman...because that is what I have been taught, it made the most sense to me. And in the context of religious tradition, it's a fact. Now, as I have recently been examining my beliefs in religious tradition, I suppose it's past time for me to examine this one.

Back to sweet pea's part in this

We were sitting on the couch cuddling when she asked me if Bear and I were going to go get married the next time her mamaw and papaw came for a visit. Seems she didn't want us to because she thought that meant that we would be leaving her for a little while. Eventually I got her to understand that her daddy and I were already married and we weren't going anywhere. This made her very happy.

She then surprised me by saying that she wanted to marry Talia--the daughter of a neighbor who she has played with in the past. Well, holding true to my upbrining, I started to explain that marriage is generally between a man and woman. Of course, as a 4 year old would, she just told me she wanted to marry Talia anyway.

I said "Okay, sweetie" and left it at that.

I suppose with the talk of proposition 8 and my talk with sweet pea working in the back of my mind, it was time to look further into this belief. Actually, it didn't take that much looking. The next day marriage came up again with sweet pea and I actually listened to what I told her--Marriage is 2 people who love eachother and want to spend the rest of their lives together. I didn't say a man and woman; I said 2 people.

Internally, I'm still working through the implications of that statement to my belief structure. A girl can only take so much change at once ;) It's my head actually that's doing the working through. My heart tells me that two people who love each other and are committed to a life together can't be wrong. Who is anyone to say that love is wrong?

Maybe they were right

Okay, so maybe my co-workers had a point about the co-blog. Bear and I were up last night debating the merits of alternative therapies. Nothing was resolved of course. He's such a skeptic:) I will say that after the debate was pretty wonderful!!
I have come to a conclusion of sorts though. Differences between spouses can be a very good thing, as long as there's respect and a willingness to listen. Our relationship is definately blessed with both of these.
A healthy sex life doesn't hurt either.

Happy Yet???

Got a letter in from my company. In short, saying due to attempts to streamline the organization, raises are being withheld until 2/09. That's 6 months!! after they are due. Not that raises are spectacular anyway, normally about 2.5%. Still, how much money is the company going to make holding on our funds for that long??? Not that they won't compensat us at all. We are getting a 1.5% cost of living raise. Now considering I have to drive 35 minutes to get to work and the rising cost of gas, I'm not exactly doing cartwheels (not that I could--just not that talented)
And it's not just the raises. Every year since I started there has been a day at a local amusement park.. Tickets for emplyees were complimentery, family tickets had to be purchased. That's been eliminated this year.
My "work wife" and good friend organized a picnic for our unit. She took care of purchasing most of the food, arranging for the shelter at a local park, buying prizes for the kids. (I did help to but the majority of it was her). Our manager re-imbursed her for some--out of her own pocket.
My point is, is it any surprise that so many experienced nurses are flocking away from health care when the appreciation just isn't there??

What was I thinking

So, a while ago the possibility of an advice column was mentioned to my DH. I laughingly suggested a he said/she said format. Laughter and smiles ensued. The suggestion was forgotten. At least I thought it was. How was I to know that Bear, who forgets, well to be diplomatic, a lot, would remember this.
Well he did. And now I find myself part of an "advice" column. It's a cool idea. I just know me and I hope I don't get defensive when someone challenges my opinions. The whole world of blogging is new to me but I'm grateful that I've learned some about it. It's given me a new insight into Bear.
I used to think that I knew most if not all of the major things. WRONG!!! Being able to read his blog has opened me up to side of him I never knew existed. It sure has made our pillow talk interesting.
I've told a couple of my co-workers about the co-blog and it's funny, they are both worried about it. Worried that it could lead to problems for my marriage. Maybe I'm naive, but that really hasn/t occurred to me. I've told them, it kind of reminds my of our pre-canna teaching. We went for a weekend retreat. At the start we were each given a steno pad. There would be a discussion by the hosts followed by questions that we were to write our individual answers in the pad. Then we would exchange pads, read our partner's answers and discuss them. It was a wonderful experience and I left that weekend with a much stronger relationship.
I believe that as long as we keep talking to each other and have an honest respect for each others thoughts and ideas, that we'll be okay. I'm actually looking at this as an opportunity to make our marriage even stronger. I will say this, considering the things we do disagree on, our sweet pea will definately get a well rounded education ;)

Where's the Happiness

So, I was at the picnic for my unit (which was completely arranged for by my co-worker, not the hospital--more on that later) and I overheard my boss speaking with another higher echelon person about a shift in policy being pushed for by our new head of operations. In short, it's a new way of figuring productivity which will supposedly bring about greater patient satisfaction scores, greater employee satisfaction and increased revenue for the hospital (Which do YOU think is their highest priority?) Now I did not get all of the details, however, one key point that i did get is that our hospital will be shifting away from 12 hour shifts in favor of 8 hours.
I used to do 8 hour shifts. Hell, a great deal of the country does them. But I ask you, if you have worked a 12 hour shift, gotten used to working 3 days a week and every 3rd weekend, would it make you happy to have to work 5 days a week and every other weekend. Maybe it's just me but I think the idea is ludicrous and I don't understand how it will in any way increase employee satisfaction. I actually asked my boss at this picnic when health care stopped beign about taking care of people and became about how much money we can make. She couldn't answer me. Sad isn't it.

Prayer for the Lost

I love being a nurse. I like taking care of my patients, getting to know them and their families. I like knowing that I can make a difference in their lives; have some sort of positive impact. I value the human contact whether it's helping someone recover from an ilness or helping someone to die.
Unfortunately, that care takes place in a hospital. And more and more it seems that health care is percieved as a business. Not a business of caring for people but a business for profit. Now, technically, I work for a non-profit hospital but let's be realistic--When rounds are held daily and nurses are asked "Why is this person still here?", it drives home the point that the powers that be are interested more in the. bottom line. It's sad, but it's also reality.
In the coarse of my career, I've held 4 nursing jobs ranging from long term care to ICU. I've loved different aspects of all of them. Everytime I've changed jobs, I've had a push. My first job, a friend at work handed me and the help wanted section of the paper nad told me to call for an interview, then stood there while I made the call. The point is, there has always been the moment or the point when I've realized it's time to move on and someone has been there showing me a new direction. Well, I'm at the point now where I'm getting that vague feeling again that the time is coming to move on. Unfortunately, for the time being, I'm directionless. So I find myself praying for guidance.
I read a book a long time ago by Linda Goodman called Star Signs ( I was very into astrology and numerology at the time) and it basically said that when the student is ready, the teacher will arrive. Now, I don't know that I'm ever ready for change. Once I'm comfortable somewhere, it's very hard for me to move. But I find myself being more watchful. This is, I suppose, the best we can do. To be watchful and mindful of every day. So I will and I'll just have to see what happens.

God is comfortable??

My husband said something a few weeks ago that has had me thinking. I don't really remember what we were taliking about, just that he said essentially, people believe in God because it's comfortable. My first reaction was EXCUSE ME?? which is usually my reaction when he says anything that questions my view of things. Well, I told him I disagreed with him, especially when it came to me and my beliefs and we left it at that.
Well, I didn't really leave it at that. Over the following days, I thought about it off and on. You see, ever since he came out of the closet so to speak as an atheist, I've been actually re-evaluating and examining my own beliefs. I really think everyone needs to do this and though he probably doesn't know it, he's been a wonderful and frustrating inspiration for me to do just that.
Anyway, back to his above comment. I can see how belief in God can become a comfortable habit. People generally don't think about it or live it but if anyone asks, they reply "Of course I believe". And it's so easy to fall into that trap. Early on, we are taught the doctrine of a particular faith. We take the word of whoever is doing the teaching. We believe our priests, rabbi's, ministers etc.. Why, because they have the training and education. They supposedly enjoy a closer relationship with God. But where do they get their answers from?? Sacred text's, personal reflection, their teachers...But for the most part, it doesn't matter really because though those answers, on reflection, may be right for them, that doesn't necessarily hold true for anyone else.
Thanks to my husband, my belief isn't comfortable. Knowing that God is, is a comfort to me; but considering that that is all I know, it is far from comfortable. My belief hasn't answered any questions, it has only created more. For me that is a blessing, because it is only by asking those questions and searching for the answers that can I achieve that closer relationship with God that I want.